Peace Arc
by Weissangel24
Summary: The stress of After War life is getting to Quatre. How much more can he take?
1. Longing for Peace

Peace Arc

by

Weissangel24

12/25/04

Disclaimers: don't own them. Wish I did.

Warnings: Massive depression, shounen ai

Timeline: After endless Waltz

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"Longing for Peace"

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Honestly, the thought of being alone; completely alone, is a very dark and depressing thought.

And yet. . .

That is what I long for. The true peaceful silence that can only be found alone in a mobile suit drifting amongst the stars. . .

Deafening silence. . .

Total bliss.

To be alone with one's own thoughts and emotions, without the intrusive invasion of others.

To be me. . .

Trapped, as I am, on the colony; stuck in endless meetings with dishonest businessmen, lying lawyers and corrupt politions wares on a person. Especially when they spew untruths to my face while causing my heart to twist and ache at the evil intentions that surround thim like a dark aura. The sensation is so vivid that it leaves me with a sour aftertaste, often ruining my appetite.

Yes. . .

I want the peace that comes from being alone.

Completely alone.

One the rare (and I do mean rare) occasion that I actually escape the two-faced vultures and make it home before everyone goes to bed; the petty bickering, short tempered intolerances that form the atmosphere is suffocating. Between Duo and Wu Fei, it's an instant headache. Then add in Hiiro's incisive brooding over on mission or another and then Trowa's manic depression; and I've got a full blown migraine two seconds after walking through the door.

No peace.

None at all.

In the dark of the night,

in the calm just before dawn.

When all is still and the colony sleeps,

I stand by myself on the roof.

Closing my eyes, I can almost feel free.

Almost.

Even in the unconscious state of sleep, Emotions run rampant.

Desires, fears dreams, night-terrors.

It's non-stop, never ending.

I often feel as if I'm drowning.

Lost in a normal life.

Sometimes. . .

Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore.

I get so overwhelmed.

Is there any peace for me?


	2. Searching for peace

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"Searching for Peace"

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Frequently, in the early morning, before the artificial colony sun rises, I awaken to find that Quatre has gone.

I know that he feels crowded, opressed, so I give him this brief moment. . . though I don't think it really helps that much.

I can see the tension in his shoulders; the weariness in his steps. The exhaustion in his eyes and the constant pain etched into his expression.

I know he doesn't eat, nor does he sleep; and the vermin he works with eat what's left of him.

I hate them. For what they're doing to Quatre. . .

I want to kill each and every one of them. In the most painful of ways.

But I won't.

It would be counterproductive. It would cause more harm to Quatre than it would relieve. I couldn't do that to him.

I want to help him find what he's been longing for. I want him to find a sense of peace that he hasn't had.

Drifting in space. Alone. Without even my own memories to give comfort. . . I never want to experience that again. It still haunts me. It was so cold. So empty. So. . . dead. . .

That is what Quatre wants. It's what he needs.

Empty peace. A calming peace of mind and soothing for his tortured heart and soul.

Real reast.

I will search for it until I find it.

For Quatre. . .

I will find that Peace.


	3. Finding Our Peace

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"Finding Our Peace"

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"Trowa," The blonde began wearily massaging his temples. "I'm really tired, and my head is killing me. . . Is there a time we can do this later?"

"Trust me, Quat." Trowa said, placing a blind fold on the smaller boy.

"Please, Trowa. I'm not in the mood for any jokes or pranks!"

The banged boy's eyes flashed with hurt as his heart clenched in response to the blonde's pain. "I would never, Quatre." He assured, gently massaging the thin shoulders before him. "Trust me, please?"

"I do." Quatre sighed, leaning back against the taller boy's chest. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so irritable."

"I know." The banged boy smiled gently. "I'm hoping. . . that what I've got planned. . . might help you relax some."

"Relax? What's that?" The blonde quirked an eyebrow, ignoring the sharp pain that shot through his head.

"Forgotten? Well it's time to remember."

"I am at your mercy."

Following Trowa's lead in complete trust, the empathy could only guess to where. All he knew was that after a long car ride, things were becoming more distant.. . . quieter.

"Trowa, where are you taking me?"

"We're almost there." The taller boy said, smiling at how much the other had relaxed so far. Breathing easier, shoulders loosening, a faint hint of a smile threatening to cross the blonde's face. "We're almost there."

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"A shuttle?" Quatre asked, confused as he stared out the window, watching the colony become smaller and smaller. "I don't understand."

"I felt that you needed to get away from your life for a little while."

"It's quiet." Quatre whispered, amazed. Tears brimmed in his eyes out of pure gratitude.

"Except for me." The banged boy pointed out, "But I have something that'll give you complete silence."

"Complete silence? Really?"

"Really." Trowa said, going over to a storage bin and taking out a space suit and helmet.

The tears fell. "Trowa, I don't know what to say. . . Thank you!" The taller boy jolted slightly as the smaller boy assaulted him with a hug. "Thank you!"

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Bliss, pure bliss.

Complete silence. Complete peace.

No pain. No hate. No deception.

Free of intrusion. Free of all burdens.

Free to be me.

I'm grateful beyond words for what Trowa has given me. Not only for this blanket of solitude, but for being there when I come back.

That is the true peace of mind.

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Owari'


End file.
